Pastoral Rescue
Thinkers sometimes work ourselves in a quandary that even we don't understand. Usually we can think our way through almost anything, but occasionally we lose our way entirely.

When it comes to whether to beat the streets for another cushy corporate job right away or to spend the time completing a screenplay or two, I have been looping. My husband would probably say "loopy." Anyway, one day I was going to finish my novel and the next day I'd frantically look for a job all day. I was being borderline double-minded (Sorry James.)

I've spent a lot of time reading Piper and Eldredge lately regarding our God-given desires. And of course, I am still haunted by those red mushrooms suggesting I change my path in life. I feel I am too introverted and don't spend enough time with people, but when I do, I'm too exhausted to get the other stuff done. "You can't be a Lone Ranger Christian." "You can't win souls for Jesus when you're alone." I got very confused.

My pastor stopped by today and I asked him when you're an "idea" person like me and could fill up several lifetimes with what I'd like to do, how do you chose? Without hesitation he asked, "What do you love doing?" Without hesitation, I responded, "Writing." And that was it. I'm studying the issue further, but I am beginning to think it goes something like this. God creates us and plants certain desires in our hearts. Accomplishing these desires please Him. Since they're our desires, we ask Him to help us and He gives us "the desires of our hearts."

Anyway, I feel as though the fog has lifted. Expect more writing on pleasing God through fulfilling our deepest desires.

The Last Day
This was my official last day as an employee of the high-tech company where I used to work. It's funny how hard it has hit me. I haven't even had to go in since the last week of July. My identity has been more wrapped up in my work than I ever imagined. Father God will want to heal my heart of this I know.

When the people you work with only value you for doing brilliant things, you tend to spend your time doing brilliant things. God values you because he made you exactly as you are. Why do we spend more time trying to please our employers than we do our Heavenly father?

Perhaps my getting health insurance quotes has made me realize that working might not be so bad. No one would quote me a personal policy price. Isn't that amazing? I can get small business insurance after I've been in business for a year if I gross a certain amount. So friends and neighbors, step right up and buy lots of stuff from www.theredmushroom.com

COBRA will cover me for a while longer and I think I will get a job soon after the first of the year--probably with the company which laid me off. That's at least what I tend to get as I'm praying about it.

Honoring draft dodgers?
What next? Just heard a news story about some Canadians (God bless 'em) who are honoring U.S. Vietnam draft dodgers with a monument and a festival. The statue depicts two scared American men being welcomed by a Canadian. Okay, weird, but fine with me.

What wasn't fine with me is the reason cited for erecting the monument: "Courage." Isn't courage what you do when you don't run away?

Okay, I was opinionated about the Vietnam War, too, but I would never have called the draft dodgers "courageous." I can understand why some chose to avoid going to war by registering as a Conscientious Objector, fleeing to Canada, Oxford, or even the Texas Air National Guard, but I don't "honor" them for their courage. Aren't war related honors usually reserved for those who gave a great sacrifice for others?

Admittedly I was raised by a couple of flag waiving "greats" from the Great Generation. (Is that rumbling I feel my Navy veteran father turning over in his grave?) This insensitive act is simply disrespectful to those who served honorably. At the end of the Vietnam war, I supported amnesty for draft dodgers, but I never thought of giving them a parade.

Hey, I've got a great idea. Let's erect a statue for people who skeddadled after witnessing an old lady being robbed!

Feeling Political Again
Teresa Heinz Kerry has been in Colorado for a couple of days and I'm pretty much over it.
She has a solution for ending the war in Iraq. Apparently, her method is peaceful with no loss of life. Duh, why didn't someone else think of this!

The solution: Simply elect a president who will talk, listen and respect others in order to solve our nation's problems. Interesting. Do we live on the same planet with her? Wonder if she has a candidate in mind?

First Snow of the Season
We love living here and realize that most of our California friends think we're crazy (Perhaps we are). To understand my heart, consider how I feel looking out my window in September at such a site. We prayed about fifteen years for this view. Thank you, God for giving me the desires of my heart! May I always live to please and honor you.


Happy birthday, Russ! My dear brother hit a big chronological milestone today. He's the best. I've heard a million, horrible "big brother" stories, but really have none to offer. (Unless I mention Russ and Mark Dale giving me an unauthorized haircut when I was two. They almost got away with it, too. The Mothers found the remnants of my hair among the tires in Mark's garage. I wonder what other theories they were investigating?)

Out for Surgery

I've been in the hospital for a couple of days following scheduled surgery. I really hate the idea of being unconscious, but have coped well enough. Hopefully this will be the last surgery I'll ever have to have.

Laying around tends to have a terrible affect on my pain level, so please pray I'll adjust to this better than I did following the previous surgery in 2002. My chronic pain situation has never stabilized well since.

Thanks for your prayers.